Please pray for me I need Gods help?

I need a huge miracle. I made a terrible choice in my relationship today. I feel like a monster. I cant forgive myself I don’t think I ever will. I love and care for her so deeply but I wronged her so horribly today and it wasn’t me at all to do that. I lost our relationship because of my choice. I don’t feel that I can hold myself any longer or carry myself any longer. I need a miracle of restoration, of forgiveness, of my relationship, of myself. Help me Lord God. please